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Marriage and money

Passive Procrastination Produces Profound Problems

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on June 13th, 2016
By Byron Moore, posted June 13, 2016
Originally published in the News Star on Sunday, June 12, 2016.
 

couple arguing sm.jpgQuestion: My first marriage ended due to conflicts over money. It was so unpleasant that I find myself not even wanting to bring up the topic now (in my second marriage). But it just comes up naturally – I mean we just naturally have conflicts and money is a part of it. But It makes me sick at my stomach to think about having money conflicts ruin this marriage too. What can I do to avoid this?

Answer: You can stop avoiding it.

If you will step up and DO something hard now, you’ll reduce the odds that you will EXPERIENCE something much harder later.

Givers, takers and everybody else

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on March 7th, 2016
By Byron Moore, posted March 7, 2016
Originally published in the News Star and the Shreveport Times on Sunday, March 6, 2016.
 

handing money_sm.jpgQuestion: My wife’s cousin is one of these that always seems to be in financial trouble. Now she’s needing a loan to consolidate some credit cards she had to use for some medical bills and the bank won’t give her the loan. I have the money and she says she will pay me a good interest rate. I’m not earning anything at the bank. Is it wrong to charge her interest?

Answer: I think you’re asking the wrong question.

Maybe the question you should be asking is, “Am I willing to give my wife’s cousin this money?”

Family finance is a multi-event sport

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on February 16th, 2016
By Byron Moore, posted February 16, 2016
Originally published in the News Star and in the Shreveport Times on Sunday, February 14, 2016.
 

high-jump-sm.jpgQuestion: My wife and I have been married four years and we are expecting our first child. We both work and are both committed to being financially responsible, but we are having a disagreement.  I think we need significantly more life insurance on me in case something happens. She agrees we need some on me, just not as much as I think we do. She says we don’t need to spend money on that much insurance – that we should save it instead. What do you say?

Answer: Happy Valentine’s Day!

I’m happy to see you both “arguing” over how much to love each other. Because that’s really what life insurance is – love, in tangible form.

Divorce – who gets what when you split?

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on January 19th, 2016
By Byron Moore, posted January 19, 2016
Originally published in the News Star and the Shreveport Times on Sunday, January 17, 2016.
 
Question: My husband and I have been separated for almost a year now. We were married for 12 years. Long story short he cheated. I tried to stay to work things out, but I couldn’t. I just want to know what I am entitled to as far as pensions, social security, if he passes a way, etc. once I file for divorce.
 
Answer: Divorce is expensive at so many levels.

Is my ex-wife entitled to my Social Security benefits?

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on August 3rd, 2015
By Byron Moore, posted August 3, 2015
Originally published in the News Star and the Shreveport Times on Sunday, August 2, 2015.
 

Question: I have been married to my ex wife for 6 1/2 years. We still live together but we are not married. Is she entitled to survivor benefits? We are now 16+ years and we have had kids after our divorce. Please explain.

Answer: You’re telling me you are married to your ex-wife, and you want me to explain?

I’m going to have to make a few assumptions here: you were married for 6 ½ years. Then you got divorced. But you’re saying you’ve been together for a total of 16+ years. If so, you were married 6 ½ years, divorced, but stayed together another 10 years after that.

And, you had children together after your divorce.

I’ve heard people say they get along well with their ex, but that’s getting along pretty well.

Financial secrets never lead to financial solutions

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on July 27th, 2015
By Byron Moore, posted July 27, 2015
Originally published in the News Star and the Shreveport Times on Sunday, July 26, 2015.
 
Question: Ever since we were married I have handled the finances in our marriage. We are in our 50s now and I’m sure my husband doesn’t know what shape we are in. He’s a great provider, but I got sick and things have just gotten out of hand. I’m juggling everything now, but I’m not sure I can keep doing that much longer. Is there any way to get this fixed without him having to know? 
 
Answer: No. 
 
And as much as you hate the thought, you don’t want to keep him in the dark any longer. It isn’t helping him and I’m sure it isn’t helping you. 
 
Reality can be painful. But the pain of dealing with today’s reality is almost always dwarfed by the pain of procrastination – the problem always gets larger. 

Improved communication makes for a safer flight

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on July 13th, 2015
By Byron Moore, posted July 13, 2015

Originally published in the News Star on Sunday, July 12, 2015.

Question: My husband is a very good man and he has always taken great care of our finances. But I have some concerns. When I try to bring them up, it seems like he either ignores me or just says everything is fine. I am for sure the quiet one of us. But how do I get my point across without being disrespectful?

Answer: It sounds like for the safety and comfort of all passengers aboard, the communication between pilot and the co-pilot of this flight could use an upgrade.

Podcast - What is an estate plan?

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on July 9th, 2015
By Byron Moore, posted July 9, 2015

The following segment first aired on KEDM 90.3 on March 4, 2015

Even if you’re not sure what an estate plan is, I’ve got news for you: You’ve got one.

Click the picture above to play/pause audio.

Podcast - Restoring trust- your Toyota moment

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on May 5th, 2015
By Byron Moore, posted May 5, 2015

The following segment first aired on KEDM 90.3 on January 7, 2015

A generation ago it was Tylenol. More recently, it's been Toyota's turn.

Though yours may not be so public, most of us will one day come face to face with a trust crisis. You'll get one chance to do it right, and maybe a million chances to do it wrong. 
Click the picture above to play/pause audio.

What’s on your wish list?

Submitted by Byron Moore, CFP® & Mike Jones on August 12th, 2014
By Byron Moore, posted August 12th, 2014

The following column was published in The News Star on Saturday, August 9, 2014.

Question: My husband and I have started talking about getting a little place on the lake. But I just keep feeling guilty that we are wasting money on ourselves. I know if we had a lake house we could share it with other people, have family there and other things. Is this too extravagant?

Answer: It sounds like you’ve got item number one on your wish list.

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